“All my life they had made choices for me, and I had resented it. Now the choice was mine, and once it was made, I would have no right to blame anyone else for the consequence. Loss that privilage, to blame others, unexpectedly stung.”
Megan Whalen Turner, A Conspiracy of Kings
So here I am, 10 thousend miles away from home. Sitting in a hammock, trying to clear my mind. Around a patio full of flowers, tiny hummingbirds, breaking the silence. Back again in Granada most beautifull city of Nicaragua. Five months have gone so fast. My head is full of pictures, full of people, who have became my friends, kids who have stolen my heart.
Should I write about the past ? Tell you how it all began ? I remember every moment as if it was today. I don’t know whether you will understand if I tell you that when I received the information that I had been selected, there was no euphoria there was fear. I don’t know whether you will understand what did I feel when after the weeks of doubts I was sitting in the plane and there was no way back. The plane took off. Pure happines. I made my choice. Now I am on my way.
The first flash. First day. I am following my spanish friends. I have no oriantation, no idea where we are going to. Small houses in the colors of the rainbow, horses, noise of mototaxi. Streets of Diriamba, which looks all the same and have no names. House of Maria Rene. Gallo pinot con queso. Rice with red beans and cheese. My first breakfast. Then APAN, arrives green pick-up, old Toyota, we jump in the trunk, on back of the car. Wind in the hair, suns burns my skin. Going from school to school, geting know the city, informing the kids what are we going to do. I remember the noise in the collage, hundreds of little eyes staring at us, enthusiastic greetings. Everything was telling me that it will be a year of invaluable experiences.
The second flash. Thirty eyes looking at me. New challenge: me at the front of class. Honestly I have newer been an open person. I’m shy, do not speak a lot. I need a time to make a real friends. What’s more my voice is low and now I have to speak in public, in a foreign language, in Spanish. Every day another school in another district of the city. Three hours each afternoon, three hours with Them. First learning, then fun. Every day when you come into school children run to greet you, hug you strongly. High five with the guys. I see the smiling faces. Yes, I am aware that there will be difficulties, but I feel that somebody is realy happy that I’m right here, what gives me motivation.
The third flash. Ups and downs. Days when you wake up and you wish it would be your bed, but it is not. Days when you start to see the culture differences. Days when you feel different. Days when you want to be alone. The day when my laptop was stolen, the day on which I visited the hospital with a stomage pain. I won’t be Iying, there are days in which the sun is shining and those with a pouring rain. Nobody said it would be easy but the truth is that you are never walk alone.
The fourth flash. Travel. Since I was child I love to move, in a car, bus, train doesn’t really matter. When the scenery is changing behind the window I feel free. I spent my 25th birthday in Nicaragua traveling, making my dream comes true. Now, when I close my eyes I see the landscapes of Nicaragua: green fields, beaches with golden sands, volcanoes, blue lakes, endless roads. Paradaise.
The fifth flash. Skype. The only way to stay in touch with the family. Once time, during the call, my mother asked me :
- How do you feel beeing volonteer ?
- I don’t know mom. That’s tough question. How do you feel being mom ?
Now, I know what I should have said: Mom, seems that first time in my life I am exactly there, where I wanted to be what’s make me incredibly happy.